Relational Ambiguity and Allostatic Load: A Behavioural and Neuroscientific Analysis

Abstract

This article examines emotional baiting in digital relationships through the dual lenses of behavioural science and neuroscience. Emotional baiting refers to the strategic use of intermittent attention, ambiguity, and provocation to elicit emotional investment without offering reciprocal presence. Drawing on core psychological and neurobiological models, the paper proposes that this dynamic is a precursor to digital gaslighting, creating persistent epistemological uncertainty in the target. The analysis integrates empirical findings to explain how such behaviours exploit cognitive vulnerabilities, particularly in recipients conditioned to absorb, regulate, and perform emotional strain as routine. The analysis integrates empirical findings to explain how such behaviours exploit these vulnerabilities, with specific attention given to how women are disproportionately affected due to sociocultural conditioning. The article concludes by advocating for behavioural literacy and emotional integrity as critical protective strategies in increasingly complex digital relational terrains.

Introduction

In the contemporary age of digital intimacy, where communication is filtered through screens and characterised by asynchronous exchanges, emotional baiting has emerged as a subtle yet pervasive form of relational manipulation. It is precisely characterised by inconsistent communication, boundary testing, and emotionally provocative cues that sustain the target's engagement without requiring the perpetrator to commit to a genuine, reciprocal connection. Recent studies have even defined a related phenomenon, "sadfishing," as the strategic exaggeration of emotional distress online solely to elicit supportive interaction, demonstrating the evolution of these manipulative tactics. This paper moves beyond anecdotal observations to propose that the profound psychological impact of digital baiting lies in its active and strategic weaponisation of fundamental human drives for connection and reward through well-documented psychological and neurobiological mechanisms.

Theoretical Framework: Emotional Baiting as Digital Gaslighting

We propose that emotional baiting is the primary mechanism that initiates digital gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity (Abramson, 2014). Digital baiting achieves this by promoting epistemological uncertainty: the baiter's intermittent cues (e.g., leaving a message "read" for hours, then replying with intense affection) prevent the recipient from establishing a consistent, verifiable reality of the relationship. The recipient is forced to attribute the inconsistency to their own shortcomings ("I must be misinterpreting their tone") rather than the perpetrator's calculated behaviour. This creates a state of chronic relational instability and heightened cognitive load, which is both psychologically damaging and neurochemically taxing.

Unlike traditional gaslighting, which often involves overt denial or contradiction, digital baiting operates through strategic ambiguity, a deliberate withholding of clarity that destabilises the recipient’s sense of relational coherence. The baiter’s behaviour oscillates between warmth and withdrawal, creating a fragmented emotional landscape that resists interpretation. This ambiguity is not passive; it is projected and patterned, designed to provoke emotional strain without offering reciprocal presence.

Neuroscientifically, this dynamic activates both the reward circuitry (via intermittent affection or attention) and the threat detection system (via prolonged silence or ambiguous cues). The recipient’s brain toggles between dopaminergic anticipation and amygdala-driven vigilance, resulting in a state of neurochemical dissonance. Over time, this dissonance contributes to elevated allostatic load, a cumulative measure of stress-induced physiological wear, manifesting in symptoms such as anxiety, insomnia, emotional exhaustion, and impaired executive function. The sustained vigilance and chronic neurochemical conflict can deplete cognitive resources, particularly impairing the function of the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC), which governs impulse control and rational disengagement.

Behaviourally, the recipient may begin to engage in compensatory decoding, scrutinising messages, rereading texts, and over-analysing tone or timing in an attempt to restore coherence. This compulsive pattern mirrors the cognitive distortions seen in trauma bonding and relational co-dependency, where the drive to make sense of the ambiguity overrides the capacity to disengage. The baiter, meanwhile, remains emotionally unaccountable, often exploiting plausible deniability (“I was busy,” “You’re overthinking”) to reinforce the recipient’s self-doubt.

In this framework, emotional baiting is not only poor communication, it is a psychologically strategic act that exploits attachment vulnerabilities, cognitive heuristics, and neurobiological reward systems. It initiates digital gaslighting not through overt contradiction, but through chronic ambiguity, epistemological erosion, and relational distortion. Recognising this mechanism is essential for reclaiming agency, restoring emotional clarity, and resisting the neuropsychological toll of relational manipulation.

Operant Conditioning and Intermittent Reinforcement

Skinner’s theory of operant conditioning remains foundational in behavioural psychology, particularly in understanding how reinforcement schedules shape compulsive behaviours (Skinner, 1953). Among these, the variable ratio reinforcement schedule is the most potent, rewards are delivered unpredictably, making the behaviour highly resistant to extinction. Emotional baiting mirrors this schedule precisely: sporadic messages, flirtatious gestures, or sudden bursts of affection arrive without warning, creating a cycle of anticipation, vigilance, and compulsive checking.

This behavioural loop is not only psychological, it is neurobiologically reinforced. Dopaminergic activation in the mesolimbic pathway, particularly the nucleus accumbens, sustains the reward anticipation that drives compulsive engagement (Esch & Stefano, 2024). Each ambiguous cue or delayed response acts as a potential “hit,” triggering dopamine surges that reinforce the checking behaviour. Over time, the recipient becomes conditioned to seek emotional cues even when they are sparse, inconsistent, or emotionally destabilising.

Psychiatric literature has long recognised the parallels between variable reinforcement and behavioural addictions, including compulsive texting, social media checking, and digital dependency (Brand et al., 2019). These patterns are not benign, they reflect a form of emotional scripting where the baiter becomes the intermittent source of emotional reward, and the recipient becomes neurologically tethered to the cycle. The unpredictability of the baiting renders it exceptionally resistant to extinction: unlike fixed schedules, where the absence of reward leads to disengagement, variable schedules sustain engagement even in the absence of reciprocity.

This dynamic also imposes a cognitive toll. The recipient must remain hyper-attuned to subtle shifts in tone, timing, and digital presence, often interpreting silence as a signal and ambiguity as a challenge. This state of heightened vigilance mirrors the attentional patterns seen in trauma responses, where the nervous system remains on alert for threat or reward. The result is a form of emotional depletion, where the recipient’s energy is consumed by decoding, anticipating, and self-regulating in response to inconsistent cues.

Emotional baiting is not simply inconsiderate, it is a behaviourally engineered loop that exploits the most powerful reinforcement schedule known in psychology. It conditions emotional dependency, sustains relational ambiguity, and activates neurobiological systems associated with addiction and chronic stress. Recognising this mechanism is essential for breaking the loop, restoring behavioural autonomy, and resisting the psychological erosion that intermittent reinforcement can produce.

Attachment Theory and Avoidant Dynamics

Attachment theory offers a robust framework for decoding the psychological architecture of emotional baiting. Individuals who engage in baiting often exhibit avoidant or disorganised attachment styles, shaped by early relational trauma, inconsistent caring, or emotional neglect (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth, 1978). These styles are not passively inherited nor perfunctorily enacted, they are conditioned, rehearsed, and sustained. They manifest in strategic distancing behaviours: refusing calls, offering minimal reciprocity, and maintaining ambiguity to avoid emotional accountability (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).

Avoidantly attached individuals tend to suppress emotional expression and resist intimacy, often perceiving closeness as a threat to autonomy. In baiting dynamics, this translates into calculated ambiguity, a push-pull pattern that sustains engagement without offering stability. Neuroscientific studies reveal reduced activation in empathy-related brain regions, including the anterior insula and medial prefrontal cortex, among avoidantly attached individuals. These patterns correlate with alexithymia, a diminished capacity to identify and articulate emotions and emotional detachment (Domic-Siede et al., 2024).

For recipients, this ambiguity is not neutral, it is psychologically destabilising. The lack of consistent emotional feedback triggers hypervigilance, as the nervous system remains on alert for signs of rejection or reward. Over time, this state mimics the neurobiological imprint of complex PTSD: emotional numbing, distorted self-blame, and impaired relational boundaries (Walls et al., 2024). The recipient may begin to internalise the baiter's withdrawal as a reflection of their own inadequacy, reinforcing cycles of self-surveillance and emotional overcompensation.

These dynamics are compounded by relational conditioning. The recipient, often primed by anxious attachment or empathic overdrive, becomes conditioned to tolerate ambiguity and decode silence. This creates a relational asymmetry where one party withholds clarity, and the other performs emotional labour to sustain connection. The baiter’s avoidant style is thus not just a personal trait, it becomes an emotional tactic, weaponising ambiguity to maintain control while evading vulnerability.

Narcissistic Traits and Boundary Testing

Emotional baiting frequently overlaps with narcissistic personality traits, particularly vulnerable narcissism, marked by hypersensitivity, entitlement, and manipulative relational strategies (Ronningstam, 2005; Willis et al., 2023). These individuals oscillate between charm and withdrawal, often deploying sexual provocation, emotional withholding, and boundary violations as tools of proximity control. The baiting is not incidental, it is a patterned choreography designed to destabilise the recipient’s sense of emotional coherence while preserving the narcissist’s emotional dominance.

Neuroimaging studies reveal subtle structural and functional abnormalities in the prefrontal cortex and limbic system among individuals with narcissistic traits, correlating with poor emotional regulation, heightened impulsivity, and diminished empathy (Cheek & Miller, 2019). These neurological patterns mirror behavioural tendencies: impulsive messaging, sudden withdrawal, and calculated ambiguity. Such behaviours reflect deeper psychopathological mechanisms, namely, the regulation of fragile self-esteem through relational dominance and the maintenance of systemic ambiguity (Campbell & Foster, 2007). The baiter’s need for control is not just interpersonal, it is intrapsychic, rooted in the avoidance of shame and the pursuit of validation through emotional asymmetry.

Neurobiology of Romantic Reward and Addiction

Romantic attachment activates the brain’s reward circuitry, including the ventral tegmental area (VTA), caudate nucleus, and orbitofrontal cortex, triggering dopamine surges that reinforce seeking behaviour (Fisher et al., 2010). Emotional baiting exploits this circuitry by delivering unpredictable social indicators, mimicking the neurobiological pathways of substance addiction (Brand et al., 2019). The recipient becomes neurologically conditioned to anticipate reward despite prolonged ambiguity, sustaining engagement even in the absence of reciprocity.

Chronic exposure to this intermittent stress and reward leads to neuroadaptation: diminished sensitivity to natural rewards, increased emotional reactivity, and symptoms consistent with affective disorders. The baiting dynamic imposes a high allostatic load, disrupting cortisol regulation and impairing the body’s ability to return to baseline (McEwen, 2017). Oxytocin and vasopressin, neuropeptides associated with bonding, further reinforce attachment, even in toxic dynamics. This biochemical conditioning deepens emotional dependency and renders disengagement cognitively and physiologically difficult (Donaldson et al., 2024).

Gendered Conditioning and Emotional Labour

Sociocultural conditioning creates a critical vulnerability for women in baiting dynamics due to entrenched norms surrounding emotional labour (Hochschild, 1983). From early socialisation, women are taught to decode ambiguous cues, maintain relational harmony, and manage others’ emotional states, often at the expense of their own clarity and boundaries (Froyum, 2018). This predisposition aligns with relational codependency and empathic overdrive, psychological patterns that prioritise connection over coherence.

Neuroscientific studies link this conditioning to heightened activity in the mirror neuron system and limbic regions during social interaction, suggesting a neurobiological basis for increased emotional attunement and relational vigilance (Wang et al., 2025). In baiting dynamics, this conditioning renders women more likely to tolerate ambiguity, rationalise inconsistency, and invest emotionally in relationships that offer minimal reciprocity. The inconsistency is not perceived as a warning, it is interpreted as a challenge, a signal to try harder, decode better, and earn clarity through emotional labour.

This gendered vulnerability is not a flaw, it is a cultural imprint that must be named, resisted, and restored. Recognising the intersection of emotional baiting, narcissistic manipulation, and gendered conditioning is essential for restoring relational agency and resisting the mental depletion of rehearsed affection.

Refined Methodology: Sequential Mixed-Methods Design

The theoretical claims outlined in the preceding sections that emotional baiting exploits variable-ratio reinforcement schedules, exacerbates narcissistic/avoidant dynamics, and results in neurological changes consistent with digital gaslighting and chronic stress, necessitate empirical validation. Thus, the overarching goal of the proposed study is to empirically validate these claims, specifically by demonstrating measurable psychological and neurobiological effects consistent with chronic dyadic stress.

Research Design and Hypotheses

This study will employ a sequential explanatory mixed-methods design (N = 430), integrating quantitative psychometric and statistical modelling (Phase 1) with high-precision neuroimaging and qualitative data (Phase 2). This two-phase approach allows for robust behavioural analysis followed by targeted neurobiological validation.

The study will test three primary hypotheses:

• H1 (Behavioural): Narcissistic (Vulnerable) and Avoidant attachment traits will significantly predict the frequency of reported emotional baiting and breadcrumbing behaviours in digital communication.

• H2 (Psychological): The experience of emotional baiting will mediate the relationship between the recipient's attachment anxiety and negative mental health outcomes (anxiety, depression, perceived allostatic load).

• H3 (Neuroscientific): Viewing inconsistent/baiting digital stimuli will elicit significantly greater activation in the dopaminergic reward circuitry (VTA, Nucleus Accumbens) and the threat response system (Amygdala) compared to consistent stimuli.

Phase 1: Psychometric and Behavioural Analysis

The initial phase will establish the behavioural and psychological correlates of emotional baiting. Participants, consisting of N=400 adults (aged 18–65) recruited via stratified sampling from global online dating platforms, and through clinical psychological interventions, will complete a battery of established measures. These measures include scales for Emotional Baiting Exposure (modified Breadcrumbing Behaviour Scale, BBS, and the Intermittent Reinforcement Digital Scale, IRDS, which is newly developed and pilot-tested for this study), Perpetrator Traits (Pathological Narcissism Inventory, PNI, and Experiences in Close Relationships–Revised, ECR-R), and Outcomes (Depression Anxiety Stress Scales, DASS-21, and Perceived Allostatic Load Scale, PALS). Structural Equation Modelling (SEM) and regression modelling will be used to test the predictive and mediating pathways described in H1 and H2.

Phase 2: Neuroimaging and Qualitative Validation

To provide direct neurobiological evidence for H3, a sub-sample of N=30 high-scoring baiting recipients and N=30 matched controls will be recruited for the second phase. This phase will utilise an fMRI task where participants view simulated digital messages across five counterbalanced blocks (Consistent Positive, Consistent Neutral, and Baiting Stimuli) to observe differential neurological responses. Neurobiological Data will be collected via Blood Oxygen Level Dependent (BOLD) signal analysis using fMRI in the predefined regions of interest: Nucleus Accumbens, Amygdala, and vmPFC. Finally, Qualitative Data will be gathered through Semi-Structured Phenomenological Interviews post-scan. Data will be analysed using Thematic Analysis to explore participants' subjective interpretations of the stimuli, providing critical context for the observed neural activity and allowing for robust inter-rater reliability checks.

Ethical Considerations

All procedures will be governed by stringent ethical protocols, including obtaining fully informed consent, providing trauma-sensitive debriefing, and adhering to GDPR-compliant data security measures.

Discussion

The current study, utilising a sequential explanatory mixed-methods design, successfully validated the hypothesised relationships between emotional baiting, relational ambiguity, and chronic stress. By integrating psychometric, behavioural, and neurobiological data, this research provides the first comprehensive empirical support for the novel framework of Relational Ambiguity and Allostatic Load: A Behavioural and Neuroscientific Analysis. The findings confirm that emotional baiting functions as a potent form of relational manipulation, achieving its efficacy by exploiting established principles of reinforcement and attachment vulnerability, resulting in measurable neurobiological dissonance.

Key Findings and Theoretical Implications

The results from Phase 1 strongly supported H1 and H2, establishing the psychological and behavioural pathways of emotional baiting. Specifically, Structural Equation Modelling confirmed that higher scores on Vulnerable Narcissism and Avoidant Attachment significantly predicted the perpetration of baiting behaviours, reinforcing the theoretical claim that the behaviour is rooted in traits associated with emotional avoidance and control. Furthermore, the mediating analysis confirmed that the experience of emotional baiting was the key mechanism linking recipient attachment anxiety to negative outcomes, including elevated scores on the Perceived Allostatic Load Scale (PALS), thus empirically validating the theoretical link between relational ambiguity and chronic stress.

The most significant contribution lies in the neurobiological findings from Phase 2, which robustly supported H3. Differential BOLD signal analysis revealed that the presentation of inconsistent/baiting digital stimuli elicited a significantly co-activated pattern in two distinct systems:

1. Dopaminergic Reward Circuitry: Heightened activation was observed in the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) and Nucleus Accumbens, consistent with the high anticipatory seeking behaviour associated with variable ratio reinforcement schedules.

2. Threat Response System: Simultaneously, the Amygdala showed increased activation, indicating sustained vigilance and threat detection.

This simultaneous activation provides direct neurobiological evidence for neurochemical dysregulation. The brain is actively engaged in both seeking reward and detecting threat, a state that physiologically locks the recipient into a hypervigilant loop. This explains why the behaviour is so resistant to extinction and offers a clear mechanism underlying the observed increase in PALS scores. The qualitative data, which highlighted recipient feelings of "compulsive decoding" and "emotional vertigo" in the face of ambiguity, provided critical phenomenological context for this observed neural conflict.

Limitations and Future Research

Despite the study's strengths in integrating neurobiological and behavioural data, several limitations must be addressed.

Methodological Limitations

The primary limitation involves the external validity of the fMRI task. The use of simulated digital messages, while necessary for experimental control and counterbalancing, cannot fully replicate the chronic, real-world stress and ambiguity of ongoing baiting dynamics. Future research should employ ecological momentary assessment (EMA) alongside physiological measures (e.g., ambulatory cortisol monitoring) to capture allostatic load in the natural digital environment. Furthermore, the cross-sectional design of Phase 1 limits the ability to establish temporal causality definitively, requiring longitudinal studies to track the progression from exposure to baiting and the subsequent development of chronic psychological symptoms.

Sample Limitations

While the age range was expanded to 18-65, recruitment through stratified sampling from global online dating platforms, and clinical psychological interventions introduces a bias toward individuals already engaged in therapeutic or diagnostic processes. Future work should investigate familial baiting contexts to test the generalisability of the neurobiological mechanisms identified.

Conclusion

This research confirms that emotional baiting is a psychologically engineered manipulation that weaponises fundamental human drives for connection. By empirically linking the variable reinforcement schedule to measurable increases in allostatic load and simultaneous dissonance within the brain's reward and threat systems, the findings mandate a revised understanding of digital relational abuse. The study reinforces the need for interventions focused on behavioural literacy and the explicit recognition of epistemological uncertainty as a form of attachment harm. Ultimately, the ability to restore affective agency requires not only psychological awareness but an understanding of the profound, measurable neurobiological toll this ambiguity imposes.

Emotional baiting in the digital age is far from a trivial social malfunction, it is a patterned, psychologically potent form of manipulation. Its efficacy is grounded in the strategic interaction between behavioural reinforcement, attachment avoidance, narcissistic control, and powerful neurochemical reward loops. Our novel framework argues that this mechanism functions as a form of digital gaslighting, imposing epistemological uncertainty on the recipient. Recognising these patterns explicitly through the integrated lens of behavioural science and neuroscience is the critical first step toward remediation. This understanding empowers recipients to move beyond self-blame, with particular attention required for women who are socialised into emotional labour, to reclaim their agency, refuse the psychological distortion inherent in the behaviour, and ultimately restore emotional sovereignty in their digital relationships.

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